All men in Singapore has to undergo National Service. Never would i have thought the day would come where its time for me to serve.
I was sent to the island called Tekong. I was placed in School 4, As a recruit from 4th Company, the Knights. Life was not bad. I looked back to the days i spent in Boy's Brigade, and army life was just, a boys brigade camp, but for one week, and then you book out on Friday, or stay back for RT. I've also been awarded Platoon Best at the end of PTP/BMT. After my Passing Out parade, i've been posted to Clementi Camp, to be a 8SIR Hoplite. Well, basically that means Security Trooper. Which also meant Guard Duty until ORD. Now im posted to the Airforce, and having my course there before being sent to the frontlines of the camp.
Throughout my time ever since enlisting. I realized many things. Time Flies.
I spend my book out time different from what my section mates would usually do. I come home, take a shower. Catch up on some anime, watch running man together with my mum.
With that done, i would start playing games. I've played Call of Duty Ghost, Assassins Creed 4 and Final Fantasy Lighting Returns. Then i would hop to my lappy and play Grandchase.
Then at times i would hop to my room and play the piano, or just view through youtube to listen to music, and songs i could learn.
I've watched anime. such as Clannad, which brought me to tears. Rewatched anime, such as Angel Beats.
I was moved through the storytelling of the whole show, the music and just, how the characters expressed themself.
I started learning piano songs like, from clannad : Farewell at the foot of the hill, and from spirited away : One Summer Day.
Recently i was into Hayao Miyazaki, which spirited away was by him, and other cool titles like laputa castle in the sky, howls moving castle and my neighbour, tontoro.
and yes yet again, was amazed at the way he produced the anime, drawn the scenes, did the music. Not to mention, the story told and the lessons learnt.
During my time in clementi camp, because we are posted to the airforce, we had to stay for a Machine Gun Course which takes 4 days, eating up our weekends. We were granted One nights out. which gave us time to go out of camp, and enjoy and come back at night. I went to west gate with my section, had paradise dynasty. While looking for an ATM, i found a borders store. Which i thought was completely closed down, so i went to get a book. That time i was playing Assassins Creed 4. so i bought an Assassins Creed 4 book. To further understand the character, and keep in line with the story. My Section mates got books too. Most of our time spent while shooting was just waiting for our turn. Which could leave you up to 3 to 5 hours. We read books.
I stopped when i reached the part i stopped in the game. Following that, i borrowed my friends. I started reading books by Haruki Murakami. Norwegian Wood. It was a great book.
It was written which such description, such emotion and written quite a long time back. It makes you totally related to the main character, and at the same time, makes you question yourself.
Back to topic, which i really do not know what im typing here. Maybe its just a way for me to let it all out. to just put all these somewhere. I worry alot about the future. Like this whole black cloud infront of my eyes. Like a toxic fume in my head.
Where am i.
Not so random day.
Summarizing Everything up to now
Its been a while, a long while since i had logged into this blog and created a new post. I have once again admired those who are able to maintain their blogs to type in their weekly, or daily reflections and thoughts of life.
As many of my close friends would know, upon graduation from Institute of Technical Education, Short form, ITE, I've proceed with a bold decision to journey into the crazy world of advertising. A rather bold decision indeed as i do not know if i had made the right choice. Graduating with a Nitec in Visual Communications, I have still no confidence on my Design due to the other talented Graphic Design student around me. I have then come to know that there are many people out there fighting for a place in the world of design.
I've shown my intrest in my current School, Chatsworth Medi@rt Academy, short form for CMA. Among all it's modules, one particular one has caught my eye and really made me really want to sign up.
AND IT'S NOT ADVERTISING.
I must say that my journey to Advertising is a crazy choice, and'll i'll explain why.
The course that i had my eyes set on for is Editorial Design. It's the season where i've been showing a huge intrest for Fashion Photography.
Of course, before being admitted to the school, i would have to present my portfolio which i had built up in ITE. To my amazement, I got to jump a total of four modules, Visual Communications, Cooperate Identity, Typography and Design Studios.
And i had no idea how in the world did i manage to skip them. I've joined up a class of three, making me the fourth in this small class. It is funny how other classes will have way more people then what my class is made of.
And there comes the first few lessons.
As many of my dear old friends would have known, the personality of Brandon In Secondary School, Brandon in ITE and Brandon in CMA is totally different. Many have changed in these 8 years. On the First Day of School, I've reverted to the Shy, Introvert Little Boy.
Many Difficulties and Stress came my way. With my Classmates knowing that i had skipped 4 modules, and also have used the softwares they have not learnt how to use, from my perspective, Im the best in class. Knowing that im not good at designing things at all as i've been overshadowed by the talented people in Class back in ITE, my classmates and the teachers would be like,
hey brandon, your design is so simplistic and nice. How did you do this? Could you take a look at my work? What color should i use?
To me this is over praising. Its stressful to the extend i'll just go like, haha, and i'll guide them out with their work and at the same time, worry about mine.
Two words that will always come out of our mouths is one did a design that is more splendid then the other.
SPOIL MARKET
Of course, we as a class have bonded through to our final artwork submission which is just now, on Friday.
I have came to know what Advertising is all about.
I've pulled out my courage despite my lousy social skills and set of designs back last year to join a program in school called the awards lab. As it's name states, the purpose of this program is to do up works/projects to send for competitions for awards. The two mains are D&ad, short form for Design and Advertising Awards and Crowbars.
I just cant stand it.
According to you,
1. im not decisive,
2. i cant do everything right,
3. Everything i do sucks.
Then please tell me.
What the hack am i supposed to do?!
Someday i'm going to just prove you wrong
and make sure i become a
Professional Photographer,
Just like you.
I'll be sure,
This Blog would be it's proof.
After a LONGG break, Hello 2010!
Today's a super tiring day.
It drawing in the morning.
Whiched i learnt shading/toning.
So stressed up making my proportions right.
Then it was break time.
Which i had this super big plate of hokkien mee.
I was like super full.
After that, it was mr ronalds,
opps,
it's Mr Richard's Life Skills.
Which i got compliment.
And also found out that i have a high Self Esteem
Which is good?
i suppose-.-
Later, a group of us went to pasir ris park.
there was,
Arret,
Din,
Wugang,
Shasha,
Nurul,
Carin,
Kristina,
Aj,
Effendy,
ilman
anddddd
ME.
It was boring at the begginning
but towards the end,
it's super fun.
We took lots and lots of photos.
I was hyped up.
we looked for crabs,
we tried to remove the branch from the tree,
we played cards,
and i tried to fly a kite with plastic bag-.-
It's an enjoyable day out.
The Sea Breeze is so Cooling.
Andd , how i wish you was there.
Posted by Fhoemographer at 11:59:00 PM
01 February 2010
thanks ah,
thanks for making my blood boil,
thanks for making me shout,
thanks for making me dislike you,
thanks for the misunderstandings.
Thanks for because of you, people would have misunderstaninngs.
thanks for because of you, i do not have the courage to talk to thoses people again.
thanks for because of you, you just ruined my day.
thanks for seeing this post and scolding me in front of the damn computer.
Just you, Thanks alot ah.
I REALLY appreciated what you have just done.
thanks for just not understanding me.
thanks for just triggering my rage and anger.
What am i now?
a Blood idiot?
a fucker?
a loser?
Stupid?
Nonsense sprouter?
You tell me which one.
Why the F should i practice dancing?
do you really think that i want to join that damn thing?
do you think that you can win?
well think again.
I hate dancing.
want dance dun know what is dance after school issit?
But wth?
During lesson time?
when it is the dateline,
for your damn work?
your brain made up of what?
Grass issit?
then too bad for you.
Bloody hell.
Shout shout shout.
I already said i coulden make it on the damn saturday already right?
now what can i do?
cancel the course?
u think easy issit?
i saturday not free already still want me dance?
u reach finals then tell me lah bodoh.
want challendge me music come lah.
Piano, Guitar, Violin lai,
i not scared.
I scared u hear until scared ah.
u heng i never kaobei you.
u heng i resisted.
if i was a sec 2 student now,
u would have been in a hospital asshole.
u think everyone in class likes you?
well think again.
even the teacher says that your attitude sucks.
cb, u wan vs me guai lan, wan vs me talk cock i play with you.
u cannot win me one sucker.
attitude problem? go anger management lah idiot.
lazy spend my time likethat.
what the F would those other girls think of me?
Wa Brandon, so fierce.
Wa Brandon, SUCKS lah,
Wa Brandon , Bully ah.
Wa brandon, i dun want to talk tho him le.
After i shouted?
_l_
Get out of the damn course you freaking idiot.
my life is better without you in in.
Posted by Fhoemographer at 11:43:00 PM
31 January 2010
While the Clock goes "Tick, Tok "
Every Hour, every minute, every Second.
Life comes and goes.
Time is precious,
for one would only have a limited number of days to live in this world.
Therefore concluding,
Spend your time wisely.
This is just random. I felt bored.
ANYWAY,
Life in School,
i can't say it's that's boring,
nor it's that fun.
quarrels came up only after 3 weeks of school.
But,i'm just being,
a bystander.
What do i mean to my classmates?
I wondered to myself.
Do they hate me?
Am i irrritating?
Is it better is i was not around?
There are many questions that i kept to myself.
BUT STILL,
I return to my Secondary School,
remembering the times i enjoyed there,
attending my previous cca as a primer.
i enjoyed myself.
i saw many new faces,
but i since it was a saturday,
i did not see you.
even if i did,
i would not even say hi.
i would just walk away,
As though nothing happened and we had not met before.
It was just like magic,
It was a night of 2008,
September 15.
i remembered it clearly.
i messaged you,
confessing,
and awaiting for a reply.
i was so scared,
i was panicking,
i was afraid that you would not give me the answer i want to hear.
i thought you might be wondering why,
why, did i like you.
why not choose other girls.
you may be thinking that there are much more people there i could choose from,
there were much more people that suits me.
but,
to me, you are the one and only.
i was happen when i recieved the message,
it was your reply,
you typed.
anything ?lol
the next day on, i strted messaging you now and then.
But our relationship lasted for, less then a week?
i agree that this was completly my fault.
i still did not have the courage to talk to you.
i did not meet you in the morning.
i did not even say hi.
but i remembered one day,
after school.
i was there,
at the field,
lying down,
looking at the clouds that went by.
we were with our friends,
but they did not know about it.
but it was a fun and stupid thing to do,
who would have a right mind to sit in the middle of the field,
cloud gazing.
it was super fun,
super cool.
on the day we broke up,
i was swimming in the pool,
i was crying.
i thought trew my mind,
am i forcing you into a relationship,
and the hurting you?
I really do not know.
i broke many of your promises.
remember the red dinosaur?
I was still wondering weather you still kept,
that 2 carebears i gave you,
one on valentines day,
one on your way to church.
remembering the first time i met you,
it was that time,
where you stepped on derricks foot,
and asked me for my name,
so you would write on it.
we met and gone to school together,
after i got your email adress.
i was shocked you stayed so near.
it's just a 2 minutes walk.
we went to school,
i remember the time you written on a postpad,
purple in colour,
writing brandonnnn plus a dinosaur.
and sticked it onto my back.
i remember when i taught you a few of my tricks.
we webcammed and i shown you some of them too.
If only,
there was a second chance.
i would take it.
and start all over again.
we could go to a park,
we could go shopping,
we could play frisbee,
we could go for star gazing,
we could play basketball together,
we could play badminton together,
we could play the piano together like that time,
i would play the guitar again and you colud sing along with me like that time,
i would hold you in my arms,
reassuring you.
i would do anything to make you happy.
i am lost for words.
there is nothing i could say,
if i am scared,
to do all these things.
there are so many things i wished i had said to you,
i wished that i could do with you,
i wished i could just do everything with you.
that may be impossible,
i may just be clinging onto false hope.
i may just be at the other end of the road.
i wished you would trust me.
im still,
in love with you,
NE NIX OOL EIMAJ
Posted by Fhoemographer at 6:29:00 PM
17 December 2009
I still think that LOVE is the greatest Birthday gift for me. I have a girl that i liked, Girl A. And 2 other girls have crushes on me. Girl B & Girl C. After girl A and i broke up, She found a new boyfriend. I decided to give up, but, it's too hard. I have no Feelings for Girl B and C. What should i do? If i would ask for 3 wishes, not using them to create more wishes, it would be,
1) Pass all my Examinations,
2) My Family is happy,
3) ***** Would tell me that she still likes me.
♥,3)
Posted by Fhoemographer at 5:29:00 PM
16 December 2009
Posted by Fhoemographer at 8:25:00 AM
N levels are OVER.
The last day of N levels for me was like, 2 Days ago!
It's official.
